do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
operation harelip BJ is a go
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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