Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
