i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
