ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
