Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
