You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
