one might say we're banned from that church
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
