It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
