You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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