FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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