i barfeds in our rink
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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