i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
