with your own penis?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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