Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
