normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
