Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
