Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
