What tipped you off? The sombrero?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Oh god it's open bar.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize