I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You left your phone here
Wait...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
