I'm really into asian looking animals
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There r osticjed everywhere
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
