An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
