very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
