so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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