Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
