you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
