North Korea, Best Korea!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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