So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
