hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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