My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
