By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize