Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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