Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he's gonorrhea incarnate
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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