I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
