i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
