They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
