I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
