Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
