My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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