Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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