Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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