brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
