didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
