yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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