You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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