So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
sarcasm needs its own font
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
