A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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