Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
