i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
