Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
