can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
