I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
