Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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