While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
