So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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