I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
