How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
