well I can't set my house on fire every night
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
