she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
