this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
